Tending Body Life
For deacons, elders, and others in caring ministry and spritual leadership.
Seasoned grace for seniors
By Margaret Sawatsky
After 96-year-old Arthur wheeled himself down the long corridor to my office at the Greencroft Retirement Center for a chat, he would sometimes talk nostalgically about his past life, and his face would shine. Other times he unabashedly talked about regret for times he had failed to treat others with kindness. Once he asked me to take down a letter of confession and a plea for forgiveness to a man he had wronged financially many years before.
We need people who teach us about hope
Arthur often asked plaintive questions, “Why am I still here?” “What is the meaning of my life?” “Am I not ready for heaven yet, or has God forgotten me?” His questions are common for someone who has lived a long, active, productive life but can no longer do things physically. The questions are valid and appropriate.
For Arthur these conversations, the questions, and the reviewing of his life were all an important part of preparing for the next step—his death. When he died, we all mourned this vibrant human being whose body had crumbled but whose soul remained strong.
There are now more aged people than ever before. One estimate is that starting in 2011, ten thousand people in the United States will turn 65 every day for 20 years. Congregations have already noted this increase in the number of older people, many living in health care settings like Arthur did. How do we minister to older adults? How can they minister to us? What gifts do they bring to our churches?
As a chaplain in a health care setting I am privileged to enjoy the gifts of older people. Even when the ravages of Alzheimer’s disease prevent them from caring for themselves and they become completely dependent on others, the gifts of the Spirit are visible, like the beautiful smile lighting up a face at the sound of a familiar hymn. Others show profound courage in the face of loss after loss, or reach out to others when loneliness threatens to overwhelm them.
As the body of Christ we need to be aware of those parts of the body that can no longer contribute physically to the functions of the body but are nevertheless a vital part of it. We need people who teach us about hope. Who is better suited than those who have learned to let go many times to teach us how to say good-bye and then say hello to the new? The spirituality of the aged can help us find meaning and hope in our own losses.
Certain tasks are pertinent to each season of our life. Springtime is for planting, for enjoying blooming flowers, and for dreaming dreams; summer is for longer days of growth and productivity and play. Autumn, with its shorter days, brings harvest and spectacular beauty. Then comes winter—whose bare trees and frost remind us of our own mortality. When those things that gave us meaning are slowly stripped away, what is left?
The gift of being, of the inner world of silence and stillness, takes on a different meaning when it becomes a necessity. After his stroke, which he called a “heavy grace,” Ram Dass, an internationally known lecturer, spoke about a “silent stay at home.” He suddenly found himself in an unknown world but was able to recognize that “the silent place inside is the place in you that brings you close to God.”
Because we are so conditioned to “doing” our gifts and because our society does not recognize the “being” gifts, it is hard to notice these gifts in our older brothers and sisters. The spirituality of being, like Arthur’s questions, often includes an even more poignant one, “Am I still worth something?”
Certain tasks are pertinent to each season of our life
Here are some practical ways to share with each other the gifts of our aging members:
1. Remember aging families by name in public prayer.
2. Consult with families about what would be most helpful to them.
3. Illustrate aging-family issues from the pulpit.
4. Keep a durable-equipment closet at church to assist families.
5. Check in with regular phone calls.
6. Bring young children to visit older people.
7. Use the congregation’s newsletter for articles of interest to elders and those who care for them.
8. Assist persons needing transportation.
9. Offer caregiver respite.
10. Have a central filing system for members’ living wills and their wishes about funerals and health care.
“As these earthen vessels or clay pots are wearing out, people’s spiritual journey rises to the top,” says Stephen Sapp. We as the church can help them complete their life journey with a sense of spiritual fulfillment, of life’s completion.
Margaret Sawatsky is a chaplain at Greencroft Retirement Center in Goshen, Indiana.